Why Can't We Be Friends?

I'm starting to think I'm a bad friend. I had 6 bridesmaids, 4 of whom were friends (the other 2 were SIL and my cousin). I have drifted from all of them and I've only been married 5 years (which feels like 5 seconds or 100 years, depending on the day). The one thing all 4 have in common is me, so does this mean I'm the problem? My maid of honor and I have been friends since we were in nursery school. I'd say we spent a good 75% of our time together in our early 20's. She practically lived at our condo. Now, we barely speak. I can't tell you what happened, because I don't know. There was no falling out and we do get together it's a fabulous time, but these times are few and far between. I suppose life got in the way. I only keep up with my college friends, K and S, through Facebook. S just another kid a couple months ago and I didn't even know she was pregnant. I love(d) these woman, why do I never speak to them anymore? Is this going to happen with my current close friends? I don't know how it happened before, what can I do to prevent it from happening now? As much as I enjoy being Kyle's wife and Logan's mom I need my girlfriends.

Diamonds are a Girl's Best Friend

Every year my company has a Christmas party where they give out gifts via a drawing. Most gifts are $10 gift cards to Chipotle, Panera, etc, but they give out a few "big" gifts: jewelry, a tv, an ipod, etc. Last year I'd been there for 3 months when they had the Christmas party. I walked away with a diamond necklace. I told my boss they didn't need to give me diamonds, that I was already happy there and never leaving. I also passed my good luck on--my closest work friend came away with a diamond bracelet. The last time she got something it was awful holiday fingertip towels so this was a huge upgrade for her. Last night was this year's Christmas party. I was sitting around waiting to win a gift card (hoping it wasn't Chipotle) when sure enough when my name was called I drew number 31. 31 was . . .a diamond bracelet! As awful as things have been this year this is obviously one aspect of my life where I'm very lucky. I told my co-workers jokingly that the year I get a gift card is going to be a real let down. Perhaps I should start wearing my necklace and bracelet every single day for luck.

More Perspective

A nestie on one the national boards I frequent lost her little boy this week. He was a perfectly healthy, bright, little boy, just 3 months younger than Logan. I cannot imagine the pain she is feeling right now. Her loss has shaken me to the core. In honor of her precious little boy I am going to make the most of the time I have with my little boy. I don't want to take a moment for granted. My heart bursts with love for Logan and he's brightened my life more than I can say. I'm so thankful for every morning I get to walk into his room in the morning and see that sweet smiling face. I'm thankful for every good-night kiss, every giggle, every side-eye (that's his newest "trick"). I love you Logan. Being your mom is the greatest thing I've ever done.

My Other Kids

This was supposed to be yesterday's blog entry, but because some people suck ass it wasn't meant to be. However it's really something I wanted to talk about so I'm doing it today.

There's something so wonderful and special about having mom friends. In addition to my friends from high school, I've met a wonderful group of ladies online of all places and they've been my rock, my sounding board, my Dear Abbys, if you will. This post isn't about them, though. It's about their kids. Second to being a mom, I've always wanted to be an aunt. I thought being an aunt seemed really cool and I of course would be a very cool aunt. Since I'm an only child I never really thought about how that would happen for me. I do have 2 BILs and a SIL but they're nowhere near ready for kids (and that's a good thing!). So, I've kind of adopted my friends' children as my own little nieces and nephews. I love them nearly as much as I love Logan and I feel honored getting to watch them grow up. So here's a little blurb about each of them.

First, there was Trenton. Trenton is my friend Sarah's little boy. Sarah and I go way, way, way back (5th grade). Trenton is a curly-headed chatterbox. The kid can (and will) say anything. He's smart as a whip and he knows it.

Then there's Justin. Katie was my first best friend to have a baby. We all waited super impatiently for Justin's arrival (well, except Katie--she wanted to stay pregnant forever). I will never, ever forget the day Justin was born. I was so excited to hear that he was a boy (Katie mades us wait the whole darn pregnancy to find out both times). Justin is exuberant and full of life. He loves Elmo and Barney and I tend to think he's going to be the class clown someday. The popular kind, not the geeky kind.

Next there's Kate. Kate's mom, Joanna, and I were pregnant at the same time which was a wonderful experience. Joanna was also a "waiter" so I didn't know who Kate was until the night she was born. Kate gave us all a little scare in utero, but she was born perfect. She's spunky, always has been, and she is always teaching Logan new things. I suspect this will keep happening even as they get older. Kate taught Logan how to smooch but I wouldn't worry to much about that, Matt. She can hold her own with the boys. She's also a total fashionista (OK, that's probably more Jo), but I have no doubt she'll always be looking put together long after she starts picking out her own clothes.

I think of my friend Ali's daughters Piper and Kady kind of like my honorary daughters. The little girls I'll probably never have. Piper is Trenton's female counterpart (getting those 2 together for a conversation would be priceless) with red hair and glasses. She's the coolest 2 year old girl you'll ever meet. My Kady-girl has beautiful blue eyes just like Logan's (I actually think those 2 look alike) and is one of the happiest babies I've ever seen. She's almost always up for a snuggle.

Then there's Jene's son Charlie. Charlie is closest to Logan's age and they play well together (for toddlers). I like to teach him little tricks (I suppose I am the Kate to his Logan). He's also very cuddly for the most part and I love his smile. I also think it's hysterical that leaves, grass, and other outdoor things freak him out.

The newest addition is Tyler, Justin's little brother. He's just shy of 3 months old and is of course cute as a button. I was able to spend some time with him yesterday. He enjoyed the song I made up to lull him to sleep. He's squishy and sweet and I can't wait to watch him grow up.

So there's my other kids, my honorary nieces and nephews. I love you all.

2009, Oh How I Loathe Thee

I hate you 2009. You're a real bastard. I hated you back in January when my stupid crappy car died. I hated you in February when the Steelers won the Super Bowl. I hated you in March when Kyle lost his job. I hated you in April when my anxiety started to kick in. I hated you in May when I scratched my brand new car and in June although I can't think of a good reason why right now. I hated you in July when I started having to work full-time. I hated you in August when Kyle still didn't find a job. I hated you in September when I had to start carrying my company's ridiculously overpriced health insurance. I hated you in October when Kyle's unemployment got appealed and our mortgage payment went up. I will hate you in December because Kyle and I can't go to the Bengals/Vikings game. I thought you might start looking up in November because Kyle found some work. It's only part-time and not nearly as much as he was making so you wouldn't have been fully forgiven anyway, but it doesn't matter because I hate you more than ever since I read the letter today saying we'd lost the appeal. I hate you almost as much as I hate the West Clermont school board, which is saying something because I don't hate anyone or anything as much as I hate them. Were you jealous because 2008 was so awesome? Or just bitter and angry because the Georges seemed to have it all together? Fuck you 2009. I bet 2010 is way cooler than you. It wouldn't take much.

The Future is Clear as Mud

So it appears Kyle got a job, a teaching job no less. He can even work from home. Cue the parade, isn't this EXACTLY what I've been waiting for? Welll, I'm not sure. For starters, I don't really understand the logistics so far. At least for now the job is supposed to be part-time and his salary is determined by some confounded equation involving the number of students in his classes and the difficulty of classes he's teaching. On a positive note most people that start out doing what he's supposed to be doing end up with a full time position the next school year. Oh and his unemployment hearing versus the West Cler.mont board of douchebags is next Friday. We may actually have some money coming in sometime this month! Hooray!

Despite all this good news I'm feeling more unsettled than ever today. At least with the unemployment I knew what to expect every day . . .depression, imaging the school board members rotting in hell, etc. (as well as what NOT to expect ie, money). I thought Kyle getting a job would magically put our "perfect" life back together, and while it might eventually, for now I have some questions. I'll preface my questions by saying some are selfish, but hey, it's my blog!
1. How long am I going to have to keep carrying this expensive insurance?
a. When can I go back to working part time? It was heaven on earth!
2. When can we have another kid? The one we've got is so damn cute I can't stand it, but my clock is starting to tick louder by the day. Plus we have got mass quantities of cute little boy clothes that are screaming to be worn again. If we could have a summer baby we'd pretty much be right in sync season wise.

Well, this is where we're at, wherever that is! I'm cautiously optimistic that things may start turning around for us.

A Tale of 2 Kitties

It was the best of times, it was the worst of times (OK it was mostly just the worst of times).

Back in November, my beloved Carson Palmer got very sick. He was laying around, making a pathetic whine, and he wouldn't move. He failed the "treat test" (the treat test is where I hand out treats and if the cat doesn't get up to get one he/she clearly must be dying--that day was the first time any of them has failed), so I drove him to the vet immediately. It turned out his bladder was obstructed. 4 catheterizations, 1 surgery, and roughly $3,ooo later he's as good as new. Most people think Carson is my favorite cat. He is so sweet and cuddly, but the truth is I love all four of my furry beasts for better or for worse.

Including Tig who is mean as a snake. He's bit both of my parents unprovoked, and decided to walk by and take a bite out of my arm (drawing blood) when I was 7 months pregnant. When Carson was going through this scare I knew that Kyle and I would do pretty much anything to make him better, but I remember saying repeatedly "I'd do this for any of my cats--even Tig."

Good thing, because Tig started acting funny on Sunday. Kyle immediately expected us to have another $3,000 cat on our hands. Of course Wiggy handled things completely different than Carson. He had a whiney noise, too, but along with it he hissed at any of the other cats if they even looked in his general direction and tried to bite Kyle and me if we tried to touch him. Also, he passed the treat test and jumped up on the kitchen counter to "help" we get him some food. Nevertheless, something wasn't right so off to the emergency vet we went. Apparently Tiger was probably obstructed at some point but he wasn't by the time we got there. They sent us home with medicine and special food and just told us to watch him. One of the drugs they gave us was a mild sedative--can I just say I love Mr. Wiggins on drugs? It's the love-iest he's ever been. And unlike Carson he likes the special food just fine (Carson refused to eat it. To this day he won't eat it).

So for now, we watch and see if Tiger suffers the same fate as Carson. It'd be about the only thing they have in common.