No Longer a Step Virgin

My MIL teaches a step aerobics class at the local YMCA, so today my SIL and mom decided we'd try it. If my MIL ever needs a fallback career she'd be a hell of a motivational speaker (I've been on the receiving end of many a motivational speech from her). Add to that her overall peppiness and penchant for fitness and she's perfect for the job. I figured since I've been working out steadily 3x a week for the past month the class probably wouldn't make me keel over. It turns out I was right. I was also right about how uncoordinated I am--I definitely got tripped up a few times. Luckily I made it through the class without falling on my face so I consider that a success. We did 40 minutes of step and then about 10 minutes of exercises using free weights. I gotta say I don't know if I would have made it through that part had I not already been doing many of those exercises. Then it was on to the mat for ab work. Wowza. My abs are sooooo sore. I'm definitely feeling the burn even 3.5 hours later. All in all it was fun though and I'm planning on going back next Thursday.

Overwhelmed and Underprepared

So, let me start by saying I am pretty much a worthless lump in the evenings on days I work. I am always just exhausted after work. Not so conducive to working out, taking care of Logan, or any of the other things on life's to-do list. Luckily Kyle is Superdad, always picking up the slack. On Wednesday nights he tutors at a local learning facility to make a few extra bucks. I'm off on Wednesdays, so I'm up to the task of running Fussy Patrol. Well, now in addition to that he's decide to privately tutor a 13 year old girl one night a week. I know he's doing this because he wants to feel like he's pulling his weight financially and I don't fault him for that, but that's another night of me handling Logan on my own and it will inevitably a night after I've worked all day. This honestly scares the shit out of me. For starters, my sweet little angel turns into the devil around 5pm most days. He is usually sooo crabby from 5 to 7 for some reason and some days it's nearly unbearable. You cannot make this child happy. Also, when I do have the gumption to work out it's virtually impossible to do it if there's not someone to ride herd of Logan. He is in.to.everything. And I am serious about my workout routine, I've been getting in at least 3 days, I don't want to fall off the wagon. I know I need to suck it up, that I've been spoiled, and that it will be fine, but I'm a little freaked out right now.

A Tale of a Whale

Unfortunately, the whale is me. I've gained close to 100lbs since 2000. It ain't pretty, and it's not healthy either. My poor husband--he must feel cheated because he certainly didn't get what he signed up for. I feel like a huge (pun intended) disappointment--to myself, to Kyle, to Logan. When I was a teenager I thought I couldn't get fat because I always ate whatever I wanted and was rail thin. I thought wrong. So, now I'm trying to undo 10 years worth of damage. No, scratch that--more like 28, almost 29 years of damage. Because even when I was thin I wasn't eating healthy. I wasn't thinking about portion control, or cardio, or strength training. I doubt I'll ever be Skinny Minnie again, but it would be nice to not want to cry when I see a photograph of myself. So, I'm making some changes. My parents got me Wii Active for Christmas. I've been working out 3 times a week, but my goal is actually 4. I really love those workouts. They push me but I don't have to listen to Jillian run her mouth. I've also been doing yoga which does wonders for my back. I bought some Coke Zero at Kroger today. It's definitely not as tasty as regular Coke but I'm going to keep drinking it and see if it'll grow on me. I also bought some fruits and vegetables that I intend to eat as well as other somewhat healthy meals and snacks. So here I go . . .hopefully this tale will have a happy ending.

Low . .

. . .lonely. That's how I'm feeling these days. I don't know if it's post-holiday letdown, the dreary January weather, my uncle's passing, or being estranged from 2 of my oldest friends (most likely a combination), but I've been seriously down in the dumps these past few days, and feeling very isolated. Man I could use a hug right about now.

*sigh*

I wish I could stay it doesn't bother me, but it does. I wish I could say the bad memories won't haunt me for the next year, but they will. Damn that Peter King, arrogant bastard. On the upside, there were no tears this time around (and no Steelers either, which I suppose makes thing a tiny bit better). I guess this is what you sign up for when you accept your membership card to Bengals Nation--years and years of heartbreak. I only hope my pal Jene doesn't hold it over my head for too long. :::runs off to drown my sorrows with an adult beverage::::

Oh and P.S. Graham, WTF?

Maybe I'm Amazed

Ok, no, I'm DEFINITELY amazed but that just happens to be one of my all-time favorite songs. :-) My kid can count to 15. Fifteen. Where the heck he learned to do that I don't know (I've never seen them count that high on Dora), but he can and I have witnesses. He did it twice in front of both my parents today. I am just in awe of him. Every day he does something new and it just amazes me to see him develop and watch him grow. He said his first phrase this week ("there you go") and he has been building some impressive Mega Block towers, preparing some fabulous pretend dinners in his play kitchen, and becoming a little Mr. Fix-it with his play tools. Of course he's also a rotten egg who gets into everything and throws tantrums, but nonetheless I love being Logan's mom more than I can say, and motherhood has fulfilled in ways I never imagined possible.

I'm Done

I'm done. I'm tired of making an effort with people who can't show the same courtesy. I'm tired of thinking I'm part of the group when I'm obviously not. I'm tired of being lied to. What's more, I'm tired of caring. I think I'll stick to surrounding myself with people who actually care about me from now on.