I Got a Fever . . .

. . .and the only prescription is a baby. Kyle and I had originally decided to TTC baby #2 in October 2009, so we'd have another late spring/early summer baby. Perfect for a teacher's schedule. Well, then Kyle lost his job and didn't find another one until November so that plan got scrapped, obviously. That didn't stop me from obsessing over having a baby though. My period was over a week late last month and I thought I was going to have to be committed due to the obsession. Finally we sat down, had a nice long talk, and decided (OK, Kyle decided and I was forced to agree because deep down I know it's right) that we'll TTC this fall for a spring/summer 2011 baby. And that was that. And I was OK with that . . er . . I PRETENDED it was OK. We can start trying in 9-10 months, not that long in the grand scheme of things. I was just starting to buy into it being OK when I happened to see the Facebook status of someone I used to work with. Our boys are 3 months apart. The status said her kid was going to be a big brother this June. BOOM! I felt like I had been punched in the stomach. That should be me! And just like that, I'm back to square one, having to come to terms all over again.

I feel sort of guilty that I'm not satisfied with one kid. I know there are people who'd kill for just one. However, it's because I have this kid that I want another one so damn bad. I mean, I was excited over Logan's arrival but I never could have imagined how cool it would be to have him around. The kid is amazing and the experience has been so fulfilling that I'm dying to do it again. I liked being pregnant (minus the miserable 9th month and the 17 hour labor and delivery). I love the toys, the clothes, the smiles, the giggles, the squishy thighs. I loved breastfeeding. I've loved watching Kyle turn into the most fantastic dad I've ever seen. I love having a great excuse to watch Diego, buy cute Halloween costumes, visit Santa, and color Easter eggs . . . but I digress. So our plan got held up a year. I'm not going to lie I'm probably going to still bitch about it a little. On the upside I get to spend the time with my little cutie. As fast as he's growing, the time will pass in the blink of an eye.