Sometimes I Forget . . .

. . . the bottom could fall out in a few short weeks. I consider myself a happy person. I've got a sweet, helpful, attentive husband; a little boy that brings me more joy than I ever thought possible, wonderful parents, amazing friends. I enjoy my job, my cats, driving my new car. And then all the sudden--bam!--it hits me. As of right now Kyle doesn't have a job. He gets 2 more paychecks and that's it we're done. I've known this was coming since March. I guess I just kept thinking he'd find something. I started this journey very hopeful. Well, it's August. Schools are starting in a few shorts days. He hasn't found squat.

My heart breaks for him because teaching is his passion and he's darn good at it. My heart breaks for me because the stress of worried about going from 2 incomes to 1 really wears me down sometimes. I'm going to have to pick up the health insurance, at least for the time being and it's infinitely more expensive at my work than what we've had with Kyle's job. I'll have to go back to working full-time which bums me out more than I can say. Sometimes these thoughts creep in my head when I'm trying to sleep and I lay awake for hours.

My optimistic side tells me something will work out because in the past everything has always worked itself out. We've done every "right" ie, got ourselved educated, waited to finish college before getting married, waited to buy a house, waited until we had a house to have a kid. My rational side tells me this isn't necessarily true. There are plenty of people who've lost their job and/or their house that didn't deserve it. I've got people surrounding me telling me "everything happens for a reason" (one of my least favorites phrases). Really?? Tell that to someone who has lost a child or gotten cancer.

So, that's where we're at. Even though the odds are dwindling by the day I am still hoping for a miracle.