I'm hoping I can break through soon. It has to do with my running (or more often than not as of late, my lack thereof). I started the training group in January with my game face on, determined to kick ass. The first couple runs were nightmarish, but once I got in with the right group, things kept looking up, up, up. I was out there in zero degree temperatures, braving the ice and snow, doing my thing. Of course, back then we were running 3, 4, 5 miles at a time.
Now we're entering the big leagues of half marathon training and the weather is actually getting decent (mostly). I'm doing 9.3 (hilly, hellish) miles on Sunday. And I am dreading it. I've been missing my short runs, because something will happen on Tuesday nights, and then I won't want to go on Wednesdays. I'm not a fan of running with the Kentucky group--they're nice, but they are a very small group and fast and I'm always terrified I will get lost. Kind of like what happened when I had to do the Sunday option run this past Sunday. There were no other slow people so I was all by myself, which was fine at first. I had my iPod and my Droid. Then I got to Eden Park, which I've only ran through a couple of times, and never by myself. The route said to just "run through the park (minus the overlook) and exit onto Victory Parkway." Well I exited, but not onto Victory Parkway. In fact, I ended up having to walk up about 50 steps to get up onto Victory Parkway. By then my rhythm was gone. Thank God for my Droid or I'd probably still be wandering around Eden Park. I finished, but I ended up walking quite a bit. It was a crappy run.
I feel like all my longer runs have been crappy. The 10K went fine, but any distance after that has been a nightmare, and that scares me. I was SPENT after that race. I definitely wasn't like hey, let's go run 3 more miles. Then I start beating myself up. I think it's becoming a self-fulfilling prophecy at this point. I'm starting to be all WTF was I thinking. I need to get out of this funk and get re-focused, but I just don't know how.
I'm hoping the Heart Mini isn't a complete freaking disaster, because I'm worried if it is I will be retiring my running shoes.
Keep your head up! I think it's only natural to struggle at the end of the long runs, especially when you're running by yourself. I've spent the ends of my long runs alone since my running buddy got hurt, and it's a special kind of hell. I think everyone has those moments of "how the hell am I ever going to be able to run x many miles??"
ReplyDelete15K is a pretty decent distance! Once you've gotten there, the half-marathon is certainly within reach. That and you get to add the excitement of race day and the fun of being in with all those other people. You're going to do great!