Nashville!

What a great weekend! Mom and I went to Nashville so I could do a prep course to get certified in OB/GYN. The class was only 4 hours a day in the afternoon, so we had quite a lot of time to explore. We stayed at the Loews Vanderbilt (across the street from Vanderbilt U) and it was gorgeous (and expensive). We never would stay in a place so fancy, but my company was picking up the tab (and the rooms were half off for the conference anyway). There was a spa inside, which sadly we did not visit, but our room had big, cushy towels, and we each got our own fluffy robes. There was even an art gallery inside. There is so much to do in Nashville, we are planning on going back because we didn't even scratch the surface.

Friday evening we went to Ruth's Chris steakhouse for dinner (after we hit the workout room). My mom doesn't eat steak, and there was no seafood she was interested in so she got the vegetarian meal, which is code for pick any 3 side dishes. I got the filet, which was amazing, as were my mom's side dishes, especially the sweet potato casserole. Yum, yum!

Saturday morning we visited the Country Music Hall of Fame. I don't really listen to country music, but it was still really cool, and I now know more than anyone should about the lives of Hank Williams and Hank Williams jr. Then we walked around a bit, I got my picture taken with a large wooden ice cream sundae, and 2 life sized Elvises, and we went to lunch at Hard Rock. During class, some of my classmates mentioned they were going to the Ryland Auditorium for a show that night. Mom and I were able to get tickets (great seats). It turned out it was the Grand Ole Opry. We had the best time. Crystal Gale was there, and in case you're wondering her hair still drags the floor. I kept waiting for her to step on it. There were many acts, some old as dirt, all entertaining. On the way home we stopped at Ruth's Chris and got the chocolate explosion to go. To.die.for.

Sunday morning we lounged around, then hit the fitness center where I did 26 minutes on the elliptical. And yes, I'm damn proud of it. When I used to belong to Gold's I don't think I could even do 10 minutes. Despite being the size of a small whale, I'm actually more physically fit than I've ever been in my 20's. We had lunch at the hotel cafe and mom did the private tour of the Ryland while I finished my class. The class was helpful, especially the workbook that you get. Plus it's nice to meet others in your field. Everyone I met was very nice.

I am so glad to be home, but I <3 Nashville and can't wait to go back!

Back on the wagon

I started off the year faithfully working out 3 times per week. I kept that up until sometime in March when the bottom fell out of my life. This week I am back. I worked out 3 times and will try to squeeze in another session tomorrow. I'm back and it feels damn good.

Logan-isms

Yesterday while we were eating lunch, Logan held out his piece of bread toward me and asked "you wanna try it?" Well, needless to say I about died laughing. I don't think he knows what it really means, he just knows people say that to him while offering him food. He also enjoys saying "no problem" except what he really means is just "no." I know every stage is cute, but I am LOVING this stage. He is just so conversational and he's starting to "get" it. My little ray of sunshine in an otherwise stormy season.

Happy Birthday Logan!

Dear Logan,
Exactly 2 years ago when Dr. Fleming was yanking you out with forceps, I never knew how much you'd make me laugh. You are hilarious. Today your "gorgeous I say!" and "what to do now?" melted my heart each time, along with your big beautiful grin. I never knew that you would amaze me every.single.day. You are ALWAYS coming up with something new and watching you learn new things (and witnessing your love of learning) is so fulfilling.

I also never knew that you'd be so good at pushing my buttons. Child, you are just so naughty sometimes. Luckily you love to give your mommy hugs, kisses, and nuzzles to make up for it.

Before you, I never knew how a person could completely take over my head, my heart, and my soul. You are always in my thoughts. I have loved you so much, ever since I first found out you were coming, and I didn't think I could love you any more than that moment Daddy laid you beside me so I could admire how much you looked like me. :-) But my love for you has grown every day, and I'm thrilled that you've been in my life these past 2 years. I'm so lucky to be your mommy. Happy birthday Buddy Boy! I can't wait to see what the next year has in store for both of us.

Love,
Mommy

Left Out

I've had a problem for as long as I can remember. I always have to feel in the loop, in the thick of things. I hate feeling left out. It was one thing to feel that way in high school or perhaps even college, but I find it ridiculous that I'm almost 30 (and a mother no less) and I still care about whether I've been left out or not. I try to tell myself "hey you have your own life, who cares what other people are doing" but it doesn't work, I still obsess. Besides, my life sucks right now, so it's not like that's a selling point anyway. I guess I just wonder how much longer I am going to have these thoughts.

Loved

There's nothing like the love your child gives you. I wish every day could be filled with this much love. I've been getting it since Logan woke up this morning. He has given me no less than 10 hugs. And Logan hugs include him throwing his arms around my waste and saying "Aw Mommy." He also keeps asking for "nuzzles" which are also known as Eskimo kisses. I can never get too much Logan love and I need it now more than ever.

How Did I Get Here?

Last night I was wondering this, from a career standpoint. I love my job but it was not what I set out to do. From the time I was 3 until my freshman year of college I wanted to be a pediatrician. Then after a quarter of college I decided that: A. I wasn't willing to work so hard in my studies and B. I didn't want to go to school that long. So I plugged along. My mom told me I just needed to get a degree in 4 years so that's what I did. I ended up with a biology degree. You know what you can do with one of those? You can A. go work in a lab or B. go back to school to do something else. Since my parents were done footing my education bill I decided I would work in a lab. To bad no one wanted me. Kyle found a job right away and that killed me, especially when I wrote his resume (I write killer resumes) and chose his interview outfit. Why him? Well, because the guy that hired him said "girls don't make good research assistants." WTF? In that case he would be right because there's no way I could have worked for such an arrogant, sexist asshole. So Kyle supported us with his grand 27,000/yr salary while I kept working at CVS for $8/hour hating every minute of my life. We got married so I had health insurance (UC's is very good or was at the time and we didn't have to pay for it), and Kyle begged me to quit my job because I was so miserable (and thus making him miserable). I did quit but just when my 2 weeks was up I landed a new job.

The new job was working as a receptionist for a doctor's office. I was way overqualified (you only needed a high school diploma), but I actually enjoyed the work and the people (minus the evil Jewish doctors--but I just tried to fly under their radar). And I made more per hour than Kyle did at the lab. The job was only part-time and I didn't see myself being a receptionist the rest of my life, just like I didn't see myself living in our shitty condo which was all we'd be able to afford if I didn't make a change. One of the perks of being married to a UC employee, besides the cheap health insurance is that I could go back to school for virtually nothing. So that's what I set about doing (while Kyle went for his master's in education and teaching certificate). I just looked up their degree catalog and narrow it down to going to ultrasound school (a one year certificate) or becoming a genetic counselor (a master's program). The person I talked to in the genetic counseling department kept it real and told me I would most likely have to move to find a job in that field. I was unable and unwilling to do that, so I applied for the ultrasound program. I completed the last remaining pre-requisites, did my interview . . .and promptly got wait-listed. I was devastated. I had put all my eggs in that basket. Thankfully I got the call a few weeks later that I was accepted. Whew!

In September 2005 I started the program. This was about the time I realized I didn't know shit about what doing ultrasounds entailed. I was the person you would show your fetal ultrasound pictures to and say "uh no I can't tell what that is." I thought I was going to die the first time our instructor showed us the vaginal probe--we're going to put that where??? Talk about a leap of faith. Looking back I realize how lucky I am to be happy in my field since I did not research it at all. In addition the way all my clinical sites were set up I had to learn how to scan right-handed, no small feat for this lefty. The classroom part came very easily to me, the scanning not so much. I was definitely not a natural and my "handicap" certainly didn't help. I survived and finished in August 2006. In October I got my first job. The pay was good, but the job was on the west side (a whole new world for this east sider). Plus I had to take call which was a nightmare. Still, it gave me some much needed confidence and practice. I became damn good at scanning gallbladders and breasts.

When I was on maternity leave I really starting freaking out about going back to work. Taking call before was bad enough, but with a newborn?? It seemed like a tall order. So I applied for a few jobs. I interviewed for my current position--my boss called me 2 hours after I applied online. I could tell they liked me, but I was worried because they did OB there and we did virtually no OB at the hospital. Ultrasound is definitely a "if you don't use it, you lose it" field so that scared me. Luckily they didn't mind--in fact my boss said he was kind of glad I was an OB neophyte since that way they could teach me to do things their way. The biggest selling point to me was the job had no call and I didn't have to work weekends or holidays. So I got the job and went back to feeling like a big fat failure. Scanning livers and kidneys are one thing, but a moving fetus--that's a whole new ballgame. I got the hang of though and now I love scanning OB (although I still love those gallbladders, too). It is very satisfying to get to help people at their happiest (and worst) moments. The people I work with are fantastic and my boss is very hands-off. I just get to do my own thing. So that's how I got here--and "here" is a great place to be.