More Perspective

A nestie on one the national boards I frequent lost her little boy this week. He was a perfectly healthy, bright, little boy, just 3 months younger than Logan. I cannot imagine the pain she is feeling right now. Her loss has shaken me to the core. In honor of her precious little boy I am going to make the most of the time I have with my little boy. I don't want to take a moment for granted. My heart bursts with love for Logan and he's brightened my life more than I can say. I'm so thankful for every morning I get to walk into his room in the morning and see that sweet smiling face. I'm thankful for every good-night kiss, every giggle, every side-eye (that's his newest "trick"). I love you Logan. Being your mom is the greatest thing I've ever done.

My Other Kids

This was supposed to be yesterday's blog entry, but because some people suck ass it wasn't meant to be. However it's really something I wanted to talk about so I'm doing it today.

There's something so wonderful and special about having mom friends. In addition to my friends from high school, I've met a wonderful group of ladies online of all places and they've been my rock, my sounding board, my Dear Abbys, if you will. This post isn't about them, though. It's about their kids. Second to being a mom, I've always wanted to be an aunt. I thought being an aunt seemed really cool and I of course would be a very cool aunt. Since I'm an only child I never really thought about how that would happen for me. I do have 2 BILs and a SIL but they're nowhere near ready for kids (and that's a good thing!). So, I've kind of adopted my friends' children as my own little nieces and nephews. I love them nearly as much as I love Logan and I feel honored getting to watch them grow up. So here's a little blurb about each of them.

First, there was Trenton. Trenton is my friend Sarah's little boy. Sarah and I go way, way, way back (5th grade). Trenton is a curly-headed chatterbox. The kid can (and will) say anything. He's smart as a whip and he knows it.

Then there's Justin. Katie was my first best friend to have a baby. We all waited super impatiently for Justin's arrival (well, except Katie--she wanted to stay pregnant forever). I will never, ever forget the day Justin was born. I was so excited to hear that he was a boy (Katie mades us wait the whole darn pregnancy to find out both times). Justin is exuberant and full of life. He loves Elmo and Barney and I tend to think he's going to be the class clown someday. The popular kind, not the geeky kind.

Next there's Kate. Kate's mom, Joanna, and I were pregnant at the same time which was a wonderful experience. Joanna was also a "waiter" so I didn't know who Kate was until the night she was born. Kate gave us all a little scare in utero, but she was born perfect. She's spunky, always has been, and she is always teaching Logan new things. I suspect this will keep happening even as they get older. Kate taught Logan how to smooch but I wouldn't worry to much about that, Matt. She can hold her own with the boys. She's also a total fashionista (OK, that's probably more Jo), but I have no doubt she'll always be looking put together long after she starts picking out her own clothes.

I think of my friend Ali's daughters Piper and Kady kind of like my honorary daughters. The little girls I'll probably never have. Piper is Trenton's female counterpart (getting those 2 together for a conversation would be priceless) with red hair and glasses. She's the coolest 2 year old girl you'll ever meet. My Kady-girl has beautiful blue eyes just like Logan's (I actually think those 2 look alike) and is one of the happiest babies I've ever seen. She's almost always up for a snuggle.

Then there's Jene's son Charlie. Charlie is closest to Logan's age and they play well together (for toddlers). I like to teach him little tricks (I suppose I am the Kate to his Logan). He's also very cuddly for the most part and I love his smile. I also think it's hysterical that leaves, grass, and other outdoor things freak him out.

The newest addition is Tyler, Justin's little brother. He's just shy of 3 months old and is of course cute as a button. I was able to spend some time with him yesterday. He enjoyed the song I made up to lull him to sleep. He's squishy and sweet and I can't wait to watch him grow up.

So there's my other kids, my honorary nieces and nephews. I love you all.

2009, Oh How I Loathe Thee

I hate you 2009. You're a real bastard. I hated you back in January when my stupid crappy car died. I hated you in February when the Steelers won the Super Bowl. I hated you in March when Kyle lost his job. I hated you in April when my anxiety started to kick in. I hated you in May when I scratched my brand new car and in June although I can't think of a good reason why right now. I hated you in July when I started having to work full-time. I hated you in August when Kyle still didn't find a job. I hated you in September when I had to start carrying my company's ridiculously overpriced health insurance. I hated you in October when Kyle's unemployment got appealed and our mortgage payment went up. I will hate you in December because Kyle and I can't go to the Bengals/Vikings game. I thought you might start looking up in November because Kyle found some work. It's only part-time and not nearly as much as he was making so you wouldn't have been fully forgiven anyway, but it doesn't matter because I hate you more than ever since I read the letter today saying we'd lost the appeal. I hate you almost as much as I hate the West Clermont school board, which is saying something because I don't hate anyone or anything as much as I hate them. Were you jealous because 2008 was so awesome? Or just bitter and angry because the Georges seemed to have it all together? Fuck you 2009. I bet 2010 is way cooler than you. It wouldn't take much.

The Future is Clear as Mud

So it appears Kyle got a job, a teaching job no less. He can even work from home. Cue the parade, isn't this EXACTLY what I've been waiting for? Welll, I'm not sure. For starters, I don't really understand the logistics so far. At least for now the job is supposed to be part-time and his salary is determined by some confounded equation involving the number of students in his classes and the difficulty of classes he's teaching. On a positive note most people that start out doing what he's supposed to be doing end up with a full time position the next school year. Oh and his unemployment hearing versus the West Cler.mont board of douchebags is next Friday. We may actually have some money coming in sometime this month! Hooray!

Despite all this good news I'm feeling more unsettled than ever today. At least with the unemployment I knew what to expect every day . . .depression, imaging the school board members rotting in hell, etc. (as well as what NOT to expect ie, money). I thought Kyle getting a job would magically put our "perfect" life back together, and while it might eventually, for now I have some questions. I'll preface my questions by saying some are selfish, but hey, it's my blog!
1. How long am I going to have to keep carrying this expensive insurance?
a. When can I go back to working part time? It was heaven on earth!
2. When can we have another kid? The one we've got is so damn cute I can't stand it, but my clock is starting to tick louder by the day. Plus we have got mass quantities of cute little boy clothes that are screaming to be worn again. If we could have a summer baby we'd pretty much be right in sync season wise.

Well, this is where we're at, wherever that is! I'm cautiously optimistic that things may start turning around for us.